"I remember one day Don said,
‘Why are you eating and gaining
all this weight?’ I shot back,
‘I’m doing this because I don’t
want you to touch me. Besides, I
can loose the weight if I want
to, but you’ll always be a
loser.’ Little by little, word
by word, angry look by angry
look, rejection by rejection; I
began the process of destroying
my husband. Comments like
’You’re so stupid,’ ‘duh,’ and
‘can’t you do anything right?’
were constantly spewing from my
mouth. I was in pain and I
wanted Don to be in pain too.
One day, I made a list of all of
Don’s faults. He found the list,
but I didn’t even care."
Jona always
thought that since Don was a
Christian, he would never leave
her. However, there came a point
where he could not take the
emotional turmoil any longer. On
May 6, 2001, Don left the home
that had become his prison cell
and whipping block. Jona had
destroyed her marriage and her
man. On January 31, 2003, the
divorce was final.
"A couple of
months after our divorce, I woke
up to God’s still small voice,"
Jona explained. "He seemed to
say, ‘Is this what you wanted?
Did you want a divorce? Do you
want Don to marry another woman
and have your children torn
between spending time in two
different households? Do you
want to be alone? Were you the
wife I called you to be?’" "
"Oh God,"
Jona cried, "What have I done?"
Now friends,
the next part of the story is
what Dr. Phil did not tell you…
God began working on Jona’s
heart. She didn’t change because
of a self-help book or a
ten-step program, but because of
the miraculous work of the Holy
Spirit. Do you want to know what
really happened? Do you want to
know what Dr. Phil did not tell
his viewers? Grab a cup of
coffee and keep reading.
God took Jona
to a place of repentance and
began to soften, remold and
remake her very heart. That’s
what God does. He doesn’t try to
cover up our flaws; He starts
from scratch and makes us new.
While the divorce was final, God
was only just beginning to work
on Jona’s heart.
"God took me
to a place of repentance," Jona
explained. "For the first time,
through a support group, I saw
clearly what I had done to
destroy my marriage. I had
always blamed our problems on
Don changing jobs so often, but
the real problem was my lack of
respect for the God-appointed
leader of my home. I was the
real problem and Don simply
couldn’t take it anymore. I had
rejected Don with my words, my
appearance, and my withdrawal of
physical touch."
Whether or
not God could salvage the
marriage, Jona made a commitment
that she would allow God to
salvage her.
Jona’s heart
longed to be reunited to Don,
but her ultimate goal was to
become the woman God wanted her
to be. She immersed herself in
Bible study and prayer, and
began to take an interest in her
appearance. Interestingly, as
the pounds began to drop, so did
the scales that had covered her
eyes.
"I began
to
understand
what
God’s
Word
said
about
the
relationship
between
a
husband
and
wife. I
was not
Don’s
Holy
Spirit.
I was
not the
leader
of my
home.
God had
called
me to
respect
Don as
the
leader,
to honor
him as a
child of
God, and
to love
him with
my all.
One day
when Don
came to
pick up
our two
boys, I
shared
with him
what I
had been
learning."
"I told
Don that
I knew
that we
are
divorced,
but I
was
making a
commitment
to
submit
to him.
I didn’t
when we
were
married,
but I
did from
that
time
forward."
"That’s
fine,"
he told
me. "But
you need
to know
I’m
moving
on with
my
life."
"You can
move
on," I
said,
"But I’m
staying
right
here."
Jona
continued
to
encourage
Don, and
give him
her
BEST.
"BEST
stands
for
bless,
edify,
share,
and
touch,"
she
explained.1
"I began
to touch
him when
he came
by the
house.
I’d pat
his back
or give
him a
quick
hug.
When I
knew he
was
coming,
I’d put
on a
nice
dress
and fix
my hair.
I’d tell
him I
was
proud of
how he
was
handling
the boys
and
share
with him
what God
was
teaching
me. Some
people
told him
I was
trying
to trick
him, and
that he
should
ignore
me. But
it
wasn’t a
trick.
God had
changed
my heart
and I
was
committed, no
matter
what
happened
between
us in
the
future,
to never
go back
to being
that
bitter
woman I
had been
before."
"Sharon,
I hate
to tell
you
this,"
she
said,
"but for
the
first
time, I
prayed
for Don.
I had
never
prayed
for him
before,
but now
I pray
for him
all the
time."
Jona
lost 100
pounds
and
gained a
beautiful
glowing
countenance.
It was
amazing.
More
than the
change
in her
physical
appearance,
the glow
of Jesus
Christ
shone
through
her
radiant
face.
Don was
confused
at times
and a
bit
leery of
the
change.
"Why do
you
think
I’m
wonderful,
all of a
sudden?"
he asked
her.
"Because
now I
see you
through
God’s
eyes,"
she
explained.
"I see
that you
are a
wonderful
man."
Don fell
in love
with
Jona all
over
again.
No, it
wasn’t a
trick –
it was a
miracle.
God has
given
them a
second
chance.
They
were
remarried
on
August
24,
2003.
Oh
how I
love
Him…He
is the
God of
second
chances.
Dear
friends,
Jona has
so
graciously
allowed
me to
tell you
her
story
because
she has
decided
that she
will do
anything
to help
one
woman
not make
the same
mistakes
she has
made.
She
cried
and
cried
all
through
the
recounting
of the
story,
and
relived
the
pain…for
you.
"God
allowed
me to go
to a
terrible
place,"
Jona
explained.
"My
prayer
is that
others
will not
have to
go to
that
place
before
they
wake up
and
realize
what
they are
doing to
their
men."
And that…is what Dr. Phil did not tell you.
1 Taken from Love Life for Every Married Couple by Dr. Ed Wheat (Grand Rapids: Zondervan 1980) p177.
______________________________________________________
This story was taken from Sharon Jaynes’ book, Becoming the Wife of His Dreams. To read more about Don and Jona’s miraculous story, visit www.sharonjaynes.com.
Sharon Jaynes is an international speaker, and author of twelve books including Becoming the Woman of His Dreams and Becoming a Woman who Listens to God. She can be reached at sharon@sharonjaynes.com.
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